All at once

As far as the “system” goes, that’s where I am. The system is that part of our society that likes to look at forms, figures, resumes, credit scores and the like to determine if you are worthy. And judging by the fact that my applications at full-time positions are rejected 100% without even an interview, that’s where I find myself. My age works against me in many ways, judging by paper. So I find myself on this cusp; all vulnerable, part exciting, part dreadful.

The dreadful part is of course the fact that unemployment benefits have an end. One has to hope that there is a job that appears before then. A job is what will make the more for the unemployment needs of the future, unless….The other dreadful aspect is that I am now statistically in that age range that is not regarded much at all for hiring. Statistically I mean more money, more possibility of health issues and hence time lost to illness. That isn’t necessarily me, and what is overlooked is the accumulated skills over the years, the “working smart” part of the picture that doesn’t automatically equate to not working hard. Another aspect is that employers want someone without a lot of preconceived notions, which is of course a blanket judgment. So when folk look over my resume they see age, and that’s the end of it.

The loss is theirs for some of them. I had my resume at a huge manufacturing concern in the US, and their system gobbled it up after being there for four months. Closed door, or just needing another kick? If it were my dream to work there, maybe another kick. It wasn’t like they were showing me interest while colleagues of mine were getting jobs there. All of the skills from volunteer work, construction, manufacturing, the writing I now do part-time, all those developed and recognized transferable skills are mine to do what I want with.

That’s the exciting part. Since I no longer order my day on needing to be at work at a certain time, and done at a certain time, I have the freedom to fill it any way I want. This actually takes more discipline. If I’m going to freelance myself, then I need to spend time marketing myself. That hasn’t been a strong suit, but one I am working on. So even though I can fill my time any way I want, I need to focus on those things that will provide an income or a strong possibility of it. That might mean a couple part time jobs for the time being. Regardless, I have my time to fill my way, doing what I want, and that requires a greater amount of discipline than reporting to a boss. It also means a new learning of how my mind functions, a new level of believing in my self, a new way of putting my self out there for the world to see and interact with.

Despite the fact my one mode of transportation has broken down, some things look bleak like the Seattle winter/spring skies, my future is mine. Here I go….